I never thought that choosing bridesmaids would be so freaking hard. The few times that I visualized my wedding (trust it wasn’t that many) I thought I kinda knew who my bridesmaids would be. But at 40 years old your tolerance for bullshit decreases so does your friends list.


So how do you choose your bridesmaids?


I knew immediately who my maid of honor would be. That was a NO BRAINER. If you’ve been following me for a while I often share my wildly smart lookalike, Anitra Washington. Her and I have been rolling hard since our twenties and have become quite the Super Soul Sunday soulmates in our thirties (hello forties).

But I was on the fence about our bridal party. Would it be just me and him up there? Or me and him and our besties? Or did we wanna have a legit bridal party and stunt on the gram for y’all right fast?

Chat with your future husbae first

I decided to chat it over with Leeroy first. Including him in the wedding decision making process is something I’ve been really conscious about. Even though society convinces us to believe that it’s mainly about that bride (it sorta kinda is)… I wanted to make sure I recognized that it’s his special day too!

What if he wanted all 12 of his frat brothers up there with us (luckily he didn’t)? What if he didn’t want anyone there at all? So we chatted about his groomsmen list which stopped at 6 people. So I just had to find 5 more girls to back me up on my big day.

Who’s in the running?

So I made of list of who was in the running. Good girlfriends from work. Friends from the Internet (aka my blogger babes). Friends from high school. Good girlfriends from my clubbing days. I had about 15 options by the time I was finished with this running list. Then I used the points system below to give priority to certain people.

how to choose your bridesmaids

This point system isn’t the bible but it was a good place to start for me. I believe in loyalty so I returned the favor to one of my bridesmaids. I believe in laughter so she had to be there with me! And I needed a few girls that would hold my hand when I needed them to and also slap me on the ass and tell me to man up when appropriate.

My bride squad is amazing. Tis all!

Check out this video if you missed my bridesmaids proposal. It’s also my first dress shopping experience so fast forward to 3:11 if you only want to see how I proposed to them.

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