Dear Kate photo shoot 4

Yikes I can’t believe I’m in my underwear. On the Innanets! For the entire world to see, ugh. Like you guys, I could become a meme after I press publish. Although that would be hilariously welcomed and would garner more blog traffic for me!

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Dear Kate photo shoot 7

Although I was super excited that Dear Kates asked me to be a model for their new collection, believe it or not, I’m not as brave or courageous as y’all think I am. I nearly had a panic attack as I watched the skinny girls on the shoot do handstands on the wall. One of other girls brought her boxing gear (show off) and flexed her moves for everyone. She’s a former basketball star, duh. The other two are fitness gurus with abs that I’d pay top dollar to create on my own squishy body if I’d ever win the PowerBall. And for just a second, I envied their bodies.

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But as I stood there I prayed she didn’t ask me to do a handstand. And of course she did. Even though I immediately blurted out a harsh NO, I entertained the idea of doing a handstand in my mind. I was curious! What would my wrist do if I actually tried to hold all of my 200+ pounds of lovin’ against a wall with just my hands. Ha! Break, duh.

Needless to say, I didn’t do a handstand.

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But after Julie (founder and CEO of Dear Kates) put on some Beyonce, you know Bey solves everything, I managed to quiet my negative voice and realize how great I was in my own skin. I mean, Dear Kates asked ME to model in their undies! That’s kinda dope, right.

And on that day, I was proudly representing the rest of the girls who can’t quite bend over to paint their toes because their muffin top is also just freaking rude.

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But, all that self-worth I was pitching to my inner me went straight out the window once these images were released on the Internet. I immediately drafted an email demanding that Dear Kates remove them. I didn’t send it. It was merely for my own feelings. Girl, I was tripping–insanely tripping. I knew what I signed up for. I happily agreed months ago but now that my supersized belly button was put on front street for all those judgmental trolls, I was tripping.

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So, I did what every pseudo-Christian does. I had yet another come to Jesus moment. I went back to pitching the idea that I am good enough to model a pair of undies. I pitched the idea of why not me! I say “pitched the idea,” because the brain is silly like that some times. You have to trick your brain into believing things that you seemingly already know. Like, being good enough to do something wildly amazing. Or being worthy enough to be loved.

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All too often we let that negative voice in our heads convince us how great we are not. Which always proves to be so far from the truth!

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So here’s my unsolicited advice. Just freaking stop! Stop listening to that whack inner voice that allows you to question everything great about you and your life. It’s gonna take some practice but I think you and I can kill that negative Nancy within us.

You can view the entire look book here.

P.S. Tomorrow is ab day!

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13 Comments

  1. June 9, 2015 / 11:12 am

    This post. LOVE. You look amazing. I love that you look so comfortable in your own skin. We all have insecurities and you just punched them in the face!! You rock!

    • June 9, 2015 / 11:22 am

      Listen! My poker face is the truth. I was so uncomfortable but I’m like.. I’s here now!

  2. June 9, 2015 / 1:39 pm

    Awesome…. Awesome… You look fabulous and yes… perfectly comfortable in your skin. You rocked it.

  3. June 9, 2015 / 3:24 pm

    You look absolutely amazing! Um, look at that bodddddddY! Gotta thank God for those come to Jesus moment. This was a good one.

  4. June 9, 2015 / 3:31 pm

    This was a very amazing and inspiring post. I know how difficult it is to feel confident in your own skin, and this post shows all the stages we go through with acceptance. Thank you for making it, and you are truly beautiful.

  5. June 9, 2015 / 9:03 pm

    Wow! You look gorgeous girl. I would have a hard time getting myself up there (like you did). I’m just glad you did it.

  6. Diane
    June 9, 2015 / 10:40 pm

    you look gorgeous!! As a plus size girl myself, I’m thankful for women brave like you!

  7. ECfromDC
    June 11, 2015 / 12:36 pm

    😀 congrats!

  8. June 15, 2015 / 11:53 pm

    I have to comment on this to say a massive thank you for doing this. Seeing someone around my size modeling underwear makes me so happy I could cry.

  9. June 29, 2015 / 10:51 am

    I absolutely LOVE this! There is nothing like seeing all types of bodies in an ad instead of more of more of the usual passed off as the standard for all women. You look great!

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