Yikes I can’t believe I’m in my underwear. On the Innanets! For the entire world to see, ugh. Like you guys, I could become a meme after I press publish. Although that would be hilariously welcomed and would garner more blog traffic for me!
Although I was super excited that Dear Kates asked me to be a model for their new collection, believe it or not, I’m not as brave or courageous as y’all think I am. I nearly had a panic attack as I watched the skinny girls on the shoot do handstands on the wall. One of other girls brought her boxing gear (show off) and flexed her moves for everyone. She’s a former basketball star, duh. The other two are fitness gurus with abs that I’d pay top dollar to create on my own squishy body if I’d ever win the PowerBall. And for just a second, I envied their bodies.
But as I stood there I prayed she didn’t ask me to do a handstand. And of course she did. Even though I immediately blurted out a harsh NO, I entertained the idea of doing a handstand in my mind. I was curious! What would my wrist do if I actually tried to hold all of my 200+ pounds of lovin’ against a wall with just my hands. Ha! Break, duh.
Needless to say, I didn’t do a handstand.
But after Julie (founder and CEO of Dear Kates) put on some Beyonce, you know Bey solves everything, I managed to quiet my negative voice and realize how great I was in my own skin. I mean, Dear Kates asked ME to model in their undies! That’s kinda dope, right.
And on that day, I was proudly representing the rest of the girls who can’t quite bend over to paint their toes because their muffin top is also just freaking rude.
But, all that self-worth I was pitching to my inner me went straight out the window once these images were released on the Internet. I immediately drafted an email demanding that Dear Kates remove them. I didn’t send it. It was merely for my own feelings. Girl, I was tripping–insanely tripping. I knew what I signed up for. I happily agreed months ago but now that my supersized belly button was put on front street for all those judgmental trolls, I was tripping.
So, I did what every pseudo-Christian does. I had yet another come to Jesus moment. I went back to pitching the idea that I am good enough to model a pair of undies. I pitched the idea of why not me! I say “pitched the idea,” because the brain is silly like that some times. You have to trick your brain into believing things that you seemingly already know. Like, being good enough to do something wildly amazing. Or being worthy enough to be loved.
All too often we let that negative voice in our heads convince us how great we are not. Which always proves to be so far from the truth!
So here’s my unsolicited advice. Just freaking stop! Stop listening to that whack inner voice that allows you to question everything great about you and your life. It’s gonna take some practice but I think you and I can kill that negative Nancy within us.
You can view the entire look book here.
P.S. Tomorrow is ab day!