HOW DID I GET HERE? In case you missed it, I did a commercial for Burlington that aired during the Soul Train Awards (skip forward to see that video). For clarity, I want you to know that I pinch myself often and hard. On most days I’m very in awe of my journey and where it has taken me.
I turned 40 on November 4th.
But I just wasn’t into it (even though I AM still accepting birthday gifts). Let me be clear and confess to you that it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I was turning 40. Because quite frankly I look good AF and you can catch me on any day bragging about my age.
Maybe it was the fact that yet another milestone has come and gone without my mother being present.
(In case you’re new to the blog: my mom died, I got depressed and then I wrote a book. Read about it here).
Her not being here to witness what I have deemed my greatest years bugs the shit out of me sometimes. And then there is always the never-ending feeling of being overwhelmed that I just cannot seem to shake. IDK! I tried planning a Halloween party for the second year in the row, and for the second year in the row I dropped the ball. So finally I said FUCK it. I’ll just hang out with Leeroy (hey Snapchat Squad) and we’ll have wine and end the night falling asleep across our bed.
Then BET emailed me.
I’ve never done a commercial before so I knew my answer before I even read the email. I mean duh, it was a commercial. The type of leveling up that was about to happen doesn’t happen by coincidence. So I negotiated some coinage and off I went to Vegas for my first Soul Train Awards.
I remember watching my friends at the Soul Train Awards last year thinking, “Gosh why am I not there?” Because let’s be honest, in a world where every single accomplishment is laid out on the tables of the Internet it can be a real task to ignore comparison. Yea I know, what’s for me is for me… blah blah blah, but in the moment when you’re scrolling down your TL the concept can seem like a boldface lie.
I’ll end this rant with
It’s true! Things will happen for you, when they happen for you! I guess that’s the same as what’s for you is for you? Anyways! OMGah I’m on the TVs…YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Ok I’m done! LOL