“You look good for your age” + other ageist statements that make my soul itch!

Can I rant for a second (a two)?

When I first started my blog I was 34 years old and very vocal about my age. Nothing has changed. At 41, I am even more passionate about unpacking and destroying the ageist language and behaviors that women are subjected to. Fortunately, I’m not alone. In a study conducted by RoC® Skincare, 88% of women refuse to conform to the societal standards that are set for women their age. In the same study, 82% have received the ‘for your age’ compliment. Except it’s not a compliment!

Ty Alexander

But for me, having grey hair makes these backhanded compliments even more amplified. A decade of societal brainwashing has made grey hair synonymous with aging. Which means those “you look good for your age” compliments (insert air quotes) usually come after uncomfortable stares at my near full head of grey hair and the wildly annoying question, “You’ve got so much grey hair, (insert an eye roll) how old are you?”

Does my age really determine how beautiful I am?

It shouldn’t! But yes it does. At every intersection of life, women are challenged with confronting how their age plays into things. Women who are 40+ (like me) all agree that TV and movies are the biggest culprits of this ageist language. Followed by other women. Surprising or nah? I was about 27 when I first realized this so-called “compliment” wasn’t a compliment. My aunt bragged to a friend about how my grey hair looks good but didn’t make me look old. Excuse you! I look good period.

Ty Alexander

And if we unpack this, even more, we have to address the fact that this is something men just don’t have to deal with. No one is reminding men how old they are. George Clooney is just a darn good-looking man while to some Thandie Newton looks good for her age. Men are conversely complimented about their age, unlike women who are judged and tossed into a box for later age-appropriate consumption. Can you tell I’m mad about this?

Thandie believes, “It’s natural for society to organize people into categories, which only leads to being told how we should look and feel. But the reality is age shouldn’t be a barrier to asserting our emerging uniqueness as women – because I know for a fact not all women my age are alike. So why am I being assigned a label that in my opinion, shouldn’t exist? I am me. I have my own feelings, I love myself in my own way and I treat my skin in my own way.”

I couldn’t agree more!

While I’ve embraced my 41 years of fabulousness I won’t lie and say it’s been easy. I don’t want to be judged for simply taking care of myself. The idea that I’ve taken care of myself, my skin, so good that I’ve defied my age bracket must be permanently erased from our minds. I’m obsessed with skincare but not because I don’t want to age. I just know that not having a skincare routine centered around using retinol and keeping my skin hydrated could speed that process up.

So yes, I love products like RoC® Skincare. Their products are clinically proven to effectively improve the state of your skin. And it’s one of the first to offer an over-the-counter retinol for daily use. For up to 24 hours, my skin is deeply hydrated thanks to their RETINOL CORREXION® MAX Daily Hydration Crème, a new moisturizing cream with a powerful retinol formula that reduces fine lines and wrinkles (I highly recommend it)

Yes, I want my skin to see significant improvement each week with this product but not because I want to look younger. I just want to look good.

The solution starts with the conversations we have with ourselves. How do you feel about aging? Do you look good for your age or do you just look good!


Disclosure: While this post is sponsored by RoC®, you beauties know that all thoughts and opinions are my own. Click here to learn more about the #ForYourAge campaign. Thanks for supporting the brands that make my blog possible!

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