Every day I walk outside my door and enter the world outside people stare at me. Well, really my hair. Even more so now that my hair is short and currently naturally curly. Although I am kinda use to it, it can be really annoying to catch folks in the moment of gazing at my hair. Some totally deny it and look away the minute I give them a smile. Others begin to grill me with crazy borderline stupid questions that they believe no one has ever asked me before?! So I’m complying a short list of misconceptions about my hair. Maybe people will stop asking me now (doubts!) …
1. No ma’am/sir it’s not a wig. My hair is really thick at any length. Contrary to what most people think, thick hair isn’t always course. My tresses are super soft and are a marvelous combination of fine and course.
2. To my knowledge I am black, and I don’t have good hair – just manageable hair. I know it’s really hard for some to believe that my naturally curly tresses came from two very brown parents and a heap of really brown aunties and uncles. I was taught at an early age to take care of my hair. Meaning, my mother did not allow me to perm/relax my hair until I was in high school. And I when I did get a perm it was usually at the end of winter and the beginning of summer. My mother actually still practices this routine. She always made me wear a scarf and/or rollers at night (I’m now horrible at this) and I didn’t curl my hair every day. I’ve only had braids ONCE. I’m allergic, lol. And I’ve never gotten a weave. I had those filler track thingees once and I swore to never do that again.
3. Yep my hair is grey and I damn sure didn’t do it on purpose. About 60% of my hair in the front is grey and it’s been that way since my 20s. No I wasn’t born with grey hair and it’s not my birth mark. It hasn’t been a traumatizing experience for me to go grey either. Both my mother and father were grey at a young age. A few of my aunts are as well. So for me it was totally normal and I looked forward to it. I did dye my hair like every other chick growing up. Red, blonde, black – even a purple(ish) color. But it severely damaged my hair. And since I have a fear of being bald I completely stopped dying my hair 10 years ago on my 25 birthday.
4. I can’t go natural with good hair. <— Can you believe someone actually tweeted that to me? Are you as confused by this statement as I am? What the —– does that mean. Like my hair isn’t kinky or nappy enough to be natural. Do we really equate natural hair with having nappy hair? Let me guide you back to light of truth. Natural hair simple means the hair hasn’t been chemically straighten. Plenty of girls get their hair pressed out and choose not to wear their hair curly BUT they still have natural hair. Some even sport weaves over their natural hair. Ask Oprah and Beyonce. Sure there are those natural girls who only use eco friendly products, stuff where animals have not been tested and such – but I am not and never will be that extreme. Natural for me just meant I stopped getting those 2-3 perms a year.
5. Because there’s product in my hair, it’s not natural. I know some of you all are thinking where am I getting this from. This was probably one of the biggest twitter debates I’ve had. If I do a wash and go with no product my hair is curly/wavy but frizzy when it dries. I did the BC (big chop) in August, and I have found that my hair is just as complex as my personality. I’m still searching for a product that won’t leave my hair crunchy and wet looking all day. But I think it’s safe to say that most natural girls use some kind of product to free their tresses from daily frizz and for styling purposes. We all don’t want a big 70′s fro.
Q. So tell me, are you a struggling naturalista like me? What’s your hair regimen? And I’m dying to know what silly natural hair myth you’ve heard?
33 comments
Yakini says:
Jan 4, 2012
You’re so photogenic – very pretty!
So what product did you end up finding to manage your hair that doesn’t leave it too crunchy or wet looking? I’ve been trying to find something for my youngest son and to no avail. His texture is curlier than all of ours, and i have no idea what do to. On the verge of just cutting it, lol.
Gorgeous In Grey says:
Jan 4, 2012
OH honey I am still searching for a product that’s right for my hair. I love Toni (my NYC hair stylist boo friend) for leaving us some suggestions. Off to find product, lmao!
Toni Giselle says:
Jan 4, 2012
Love it! Two products I live by for my natural loves–Eco Styler (green tub)(moveable gel that won’t leave your hair hard or crunchy) It defines your curls and dries leaving them soft and bouncy and Hawaiian Silky 14-n-1. Try washing your hair then saturating with the 14-n-1 and then finishing with the Eco Styler. Diffuse or air dry. I promise you will love!
Gorgeous In Grey says:
Jan 4, 2012
Ummm so do I get this at the beauty store.. NVM, I will tweet you!
Sharontina says:
Jan 4, 2012
Great post!!! I’ll be honest, when I first started following you and your site, I thought you made your hair grey on purpose…idk…but I love how you addressed each misconception and how you embrace it!…and did you say you were 25 TEN years ago?! whaaaaa? You look every bit of 25! Any who, I love your hair… nice curl pattern with or without product. Such a great post and great photos!
xo,
Sharontina/ TyrasLilSis
Gorgeous In Grey says:
Jan 4, 2012
AHAHAHA! That’s my next post. Misconceptions about my age, LOL! 35 and loving it.
Rocquelle says:
Jan 4, 2012
Lol, loved this post! I’m no longer surprised the ignorance that come from people’s mouths as it pertains to hair. It’s rather ridiculous the questions I get asked about my locks on a regular basis, and the stare oh my!
Gorgeous In Grey says:
Jan 4, 2012
I’m just rude now. I cut people off and answer their questions before they even start. Ya know right after, “Can I ask you a question?”… my reply is always “No I didn’t dye my hair and I am only 35″… LOL. I said I would be nice this year? Maybe I will start passing out business cards and say go read my blog for answers, hahaha!
Doc says:
Jan 4, 2012
Interestingly when I met you your hair wasn’t that big a deal to me. It was grey, thick and healthy. The end. As your co diva I have had to answer some dumb ass questions about your hair. Most often asked is omg! Why doesnt she just dye it? Maybe she don’t want the headache cuz it’s her natural color! You also left out how annoying it is for strangers to walk up on you and ask “how old are you?” Rudeness!
I had my own share of dumb sh*t since I locked my hair. There is currently a heated debate about whether dyin my locs makes it unnatural somehow. The most annoying thing about natural hair is the personality characteristics people project on to you. They assume you are militant, aggressive, and no longer wax your eyebrows or bikini area. Dudes suddenly call you queen/empress. Yes I def have an Afrocentric swag but I still groom and I was a queen even when my hair relaxed, loose and natural, or in my weave!
Gorgeous In Grey says:
Jan 4, 2012
RIGHT! A part of me feels like I gotta go out and buy big hoop earrings and ish, so not true.
Jennifer James says:
Jan 4, 2012
I love this! Thank you. *clapping ferociously & screaming* BRAVO! BRAVO!
This speaks for so many aspects of human nature, socialization, beauty standards & our sensitivity (or lack thereof).
GREAT POST! Sharing everywhere.
Gorgeous In Grey says:
Jan 4, 2012
Thanks Jen.. it was on my mind so I wrote. XOXO
CandyPaint says:
Jan 4, 2012
I dont have a regimen, I hate doing my so-called good hair and am eagerly awaiting 10 good inches so I can give it all away to a girl who will love and appreciate the gesture (locks of love). the best days of my curly life were when I had a brush cut aka a fade. your hair and smile are equally great!
Gorgeous In Grey says:
Jan 4, 2012
I do miss my short hair BUT I’m really working on getting those gorge Tracee Ellis Ross curls..
Haute Wife says:
Jan 4, 2012
Struggling? Heck yeh! I’m a messily 9 weeks out from my prior 8 week relaxer cycle. I don’t see a big chop in my near or distant future. The plan is to transition my way up outta here. Sigh. Such a long road a head.
tay123lor says:
Jan 4, 2012
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RevealingBeaute says:
Jan 4, 2012
I absolutely love your hair. When I saw you in NY at the Makeup Show my first thought was, “Who is this gorgeous girl with the silver hair?”. My hair first began to grey when I was 11 years old. I was teased by young people and admired by mature adults. It was something that I grew to love. I have never “struggled” with my hair. To me, it’s always been just hair and I understood that it grows back. There are times when I desire to have my hair back but the feeling passes. One myth that I despise is that “if you’re natural, your hair is healthy”. Natural girls struggle with damaged hair too. I’ve seen people who transitioned just because their relaxed hair was damaged but they had no clue on how to care for their hair altogether. I hope that our natural sisters begin to love themselves and their hair, no matter what state it’s in!
Mode Plus says:
Jan 4, 2012
I can’t tell u on how many levels I identified with your story. Going au naturel last year was the best move in years but oh boy, what was I in for a surprise. Who knew natural hair could be so high maintenance??? It’s been over a year now and I finally (knocks on wood twice) think I understand my curls. Between the BC and my current length I think I must have tried every hair product discussed on you tube or natural hair forum. Right now I only use shea butter (my curls love it), I stay away from any gel product such as eco style gel (even though I love it). Just like you when my hair dries, it’s a big frizz ball but after using sulfate free shampoo in combo with shea butter, it’s less dry. If the frizz is too much, I just co-wash with the shea butter. As you can tell (from this long comment, mes excuses), my wonder product is the shea butter (knock on wood again, u never know!!). Good luck and keep us informed.
Ro says:
Jan 4, 2012
Great Post and you have some beautiful hair!! Don’t people ask the craziest questions?
kvowels says:
Jan 5, 2012
You are BEAUTIFUL! I love all the hairstyle pics. You are doing w/the tapered curly natural, girl. I am a natural…some days yes, struggling. Growing my hair out, trying to keep it moisturised and just learning it all over again (natural 3 years). I LOVE it though. I love being able to scratch when I want, colour if I want, and I just love having more $$ (I was one of those relaxed women who spent every 3 weeks in the salon
. So, now it’s liberating and I am truly happier. YouTube helped TONS!
I am not a Nazi, nor do I encourage other women to go #TeamNatural unless they ask me questions, other than that, I say, do you. I have no plans to return to a relaxer but I do see some BAD short hairstyles that have me salivating…..
As for the silly things I have heard, “you can be natural cuz you got that GOOD hair!”
NicknotNikki says:
Jan 16, 2012
I have to commend your mother for teaching you a hair regimen.. I started going grey in my early 20′s (I’m 33) and found that because grey hair doesn’t take perm as nicely, I’d have to touch up my fine hair every 6 weeks..
Upon realizing I wanted to work out more (without having to worry about my perm) and the money that I was spending (the last appointment was 5 hours, I haven’t been back since) I decided to go natural. I was always worried because I’m a tomboy and I really felt like my hair was the only way to “girlie myself up.” So I felt I had to hang on to it..
I have something now that only gets better when I’m sweaty from a workout. Don’t have to worry about rain or humidity (I live in Florida) and all I do in the morning is wet it, reactivate the product, fluff it and say “let’s go.”
I haven’t heard any silly questions. But everyone who has known me knows that this is the style I was meant for.. It captures me. And I’ve never felt more like myself in my life.. I’m soo happy..
I still have a little perm on top because I didn’t have enough length for the style I wanted.. EVERYTIME I wash my hair and see the two different textures, I wanna cut it all the way off.. *UGH*
I currently mix my own leave in conditioner.. and I can customize the smell with my oils.. That works miracles for me. I got some Oyin products while in Baltimore so we’ll see how that works.. But what works best for me is the Tousle Me Softly mousse that Herbal Essences has. (purple can) I bought it when I had permed hair and didn’t want to throw it away.. this product shows my curls perfectly, but considering your hair is thicker, you might need a cream.. I’m still figuring out the hair regimen for my curls but I look forward to it..
Gorgeous In Grey says:
Jan 16, 2012
I’m not rocking a straw set, check my twitter page.
Doreen says:
Jan 16, 2012
You’re absolutely right….hair does define us. Seems that as long as your hair and shoes are in order, what’s in between really doesn’t matter. I love that you’ve embraced who you are …..naturally. And thanks for sharing your personal views on healthy hair habits. I’ve learned that the hard way – after several really bad relaxers. Unfortunately, bad treatments are usually not reversible.
I hate to toot my own horn, but I must tell you what saved my hair… I created a nature-inspired satin pillow case (www.neeroana.com) that promotes healthy hydration and relieves me from tying up my hair every night. As a woman of color, I needed to get into the 21st century with hair care. My hair is no longer broken or dry or weak. If it saved my coils, it’ll save yours. Thanks for taking us through your hair care journey. Lovely reading.
The Seventh District says:
Jan 20, 2012
You have a great head of hair! Very informative post…I’m still gasping! I had no idea you were 35! Black dont crack! Looking good!
Candyce Nicole says:
Feb 1, 2012
I’d heard about your blog in passing but never stopped by. I had no idea the “gorgeous in grey” was in reference to your hair. I absolutely love it!!!
You and your hair are fab
)
I’ll be reading more often now that I’ve had a chance to check out your blog!
BlitzAndGlam says:
Feb 3, 2012
I LOVE your grey hair. My fav style is the one in the pics that are under point #1. So cute!
Joy says:
Mar 14, 2012
I love your gray hair! I met you just a couple of times and I always loved it, in fact envied it. Ive always liked the idea of white/silver hair on especially darker skin like mine, Its so becoming and interesting.
Im natural and have been for about 6 years. I have locs, The regimen I use are natural products, mostly because chemicals never agreed with my hair and my mother and grandmother both have lost some of there hair as they aged so I keep to natural oils and such hopefully to head off the hair loss.
I have really thick full hair and I think alot of people like it. I do get asked/complimented about it alot and people like to touch/play with it. The silliest comments were saying you know like its too course, wild, or why would I ever want to be natural? and deal with all the naps. Truth is I love my naps! And I love “big” hair so having thick, slightly wildish hair suites me and my personality. I never want things tame
A little of my routine: I wash my hair with Dudu Osun Black Soap. It smells lovely and a bit woodsy. Then I moisturize my hair with organic coconut oil, jojoba oil, shea butter, mango oil and castor oil. Ive made a mix of it and it smells wonderful and I have to say since Ive started using this (about 2 yrs ago) my hair has grown like crazy, so healthy and full.
Anyways, Thanks for sharing this! Ive always been interesting in your gorgeous grey!
Faith says:
May 10, 2012
hi im a white skinny chick with african like hair from my ancestors (we all go back to Eve aye?), growing up with siblings and mum with perfect blonde straight hair, and me with darkest brown moppy hair was interesting to say the least (still think i was adopted,,,,,)
living in Japan with the humidity, well, yes, hair maybe long(ish) but it sure is a crazy madness, like jimi hendrix on a really windy day !
and i stopped coloring my greys and i stopped straightening it
oils kinda work, but most of the time it gets tied back in a scrunchie, and still manages to escape,,,,,
i love your blog, was just typing in grey at 35 and wahla found you, you are very stylish and gorgeous and strong
thank you xxx
Drea Griffin-Dasilva says:
Oct 14, 2012
I love your grey hair!! I’m 46 and just have some gray around the temples and since it hasn’t come in as nicely as yours, I color it regularly.
I did the BC a year ago June- completely out of the blue. I’d just lost my job and figured I would hate it (I have a very round face) but could grow it back by the time I found a new gig. Before I left the salon I was swooning and haven’t looked back. I am a bit of a tree hugger though, I use cruelty free products Organix Coconut shampoo & conditioner; a nightly application of about tsp of pure coconut oil and after my morning shower I use Marc Anthony’s Curl Envy cream to define the curl and control frizz. I also use a natural coloring product called Naturtint about every 6 weeks, it’s extremely gentle.
Can’t wait to follow your future posts. All the best – Drea
Shakita Sanders says:
Nov 2, 2012
I finally found your blog again, YES!!! I have natural hair and I have had grey-hair since I can remember. This wasn’t high school, this was kindergarten I remember having grey hair. I have a huge grey patch in the middle of my head and it doesn’t seem to curl when I wash it. I see that you don’t have this problem so I was wondering did you have any suggestions for me.
Sincerely, Gorgeous in Grey Too
ConventionalDee says:
Apr 15, 2013
I stumbled upon your IG page and I love your hair. I sought out your blog to get the story on the grey, and here it is. I too am prematurely grey (got my 1st at 16) but I am a slave to dye. I wish I could stop and have it look as chic as yours. I have serious hair envy!
Eat.Style.Play says:
Apr 16, 2013
…see all this time I thought you colored your hair like that. haha, but to be legit. I love it grey like that! It’s pretty, and clearly unique because there aren’t a ton of folks your age with that much Grey. I love that you have so many hair styles too. I miss being short but I’m on hair growth challenge now. I want shoulder length natural hair, it’s getting there. My hair routine still have some work to be done. I was co-washing before but my scalp was developing nasty build up. Now I have to use scalp shampoo once a week and it’s clearing up that issue. I’ve been using Qhemet Biologics products too which my hair seems to love.
Shayna says:
Apr 27, 2013
i saw you in Stacy London’s book and I was drawn to your hair. It’s absolutely beautiful