Hair It Is: Common Misconceptions About (My) Hair

ty alexander gorgeousingrey -1

Every day I walk outside my door and enter the world outside people stare at me. Well, really my hair. Even more so now that my hair is short and currently naturally curly. Although I am kinda use to it, it can be really annoying to catch folks in the moment of gazing at my hair. Some totally deny it and look away the minute I give them a smile. Others begin to grill me with crazy borderline stupid questions that they believe no one has ever asked me before?! So I’m complying a short list of misconceptions about my hair. Maybe people will stop asking me now (doubts!)…

1. No ma’am/sir it’s not a wig. My hair is really thick at any length. Contrary to what most people think, thick hair isn’t always course. My tresses are super soft and are a marvelous combination of fine and course.

2. To my knowledge I am black, and I don’t have good hair – just manageable hair. I know it’s really hard for some to believe that my naturally curly tresses came from two very brown parents and a heap of really brown aunties and uncles. I was taught at an early age to take care of my hair. Meaning, my mother did not allow me to perm/relax my hair until I was in high school. And I when I did get a perm it was usually at the end of winter and the beginning of summer. My mother actually still practices this routine. She always made me wear a scarf and/or rollers at night (I’m now horrible at this) and I didn’t curl my hair every day. I’ve only had braids ONCE. I’m allergic, lol. And I’ve never gotten a weave. I had those filler track thingees once and I swore to never do that again. 

3. Yep my hair is grey and I damn sure didn’t do it on purpose. About 60% of my hair in the front is grey and it’s been that way since my 20s. No I wasn’t born with grey hair and it’s not my birth mark. It hasn’t been a traumatizing experience for me to go grey either. Both my mother and father were grey at a young age. A few of my aunts are as well. So for me it was totally normal and I looked forward to it. I did dye my hair like every other chick growing up. Red, blonde, black – even a purple(ish) color. But it severely damaged my hair. And since I have a fear of being bald I completely stopped dying my hair 10 years ago on my 25 birthday. 

4. I can’t go natural with good hair. <— Can you believe someone actually tweeted that to me? Are you as confused by this statement as I am? What the —– does that mean. Like my hair isn’t kinky or nappy enough to be natural. Do we really equate natural hair with having nappy hair? Let me guide you back to light of truth. Natural hair simple means the hair hasn’t been chemically straighten. Plenty of girls get their hair pressed out and choose not to wear their hair curly BUT they still have natural hair. Some even sport weaves over their natural hair. Ask Oprah and Beyonce. Sure there are those natural girls who only use eco friendly products, stuff where animals have not been tested and such – but I am not and never will be that extreme. Natural for me just meant I stopped getting those 2-3 perms a year.

5. Because there’s product in my hair, it’s not natural. I know some of you all are thinking where am I getting this from. This was probably one of the biggest twitter debates I’ve had. If I do a wash and go with no product my hair is curly/wavy but frizzy when it dries. I did the BC (big chop) in August, and I have found that my hair is just as complex as my personality. I’m still searching for a product that won’t leave my hair crunchy and wet looking all day. But I think it’s safe to say that most natural girls use some kind of product to free their tresses from daily frizz and for styling purposes. We all don’t want a big 70’s fro.

Still have questions, watch this video:

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59 Comments

  1. January 4, 2012 / 12:04 am

    You’re so photogenic – very pretty!
    So what product did you end up finding to manage your hair that doesn’t leave it too crunchy or wet looking? I’ve been trying to find something for my youngest son and to no avail. His texture is curlier than all of ours, and i have no idea what do to. On the verge of just cutting it, lol.

    • Gorgeous In Grey
      January 4, 2012 / 1:16 am

      OH honey I am still searching for a product that’s right for my hair. I love Toni (my NYC hair stylist boo friend) for leaving us some suggestions. Off to find product, lmao!

      • Berle
        May 11, 2015 / 11:30 am

        I admire you. I have had a streak of gray hair since i was in high school. When I turned 30 all my edges around the front and side were white. Now I am natural no chemicals but in search of a style i want. I ALMOST colored it last week but I changed my mind. I have been gray with no color since i was 45 i am 53 now. Thank you.
        EMBRACING MY GRAY WITH GRACE

  2. January 4, 2012 / 12:07 am

    Love it! Two products I live by for my natural loves–Eco Styler (green tub)(moveable gel that won’t leave your hair hard or crunchy) It defines your curls and dries leaving them soft and bouncy and Hawaiian Silky 14-n-1. Try washing your hair then saturating with the 14-n-1 and then finishing with the Eco Styler. Diffuse or air dry. I promise you will love!

    • Gorgeous In Grey
      January 4, 2012 / 1:17 am

      Ummm so do I get this at the beauty store.. NVM, I will tweet you!

  3. January 4, 2012 / 12:08 am

    Great post!!! I’ll be honest, when I first started following you and your site, I thought you made your hair grey on purpose…idk…but I love how you addressed each misconception and how you embrace it!…and did you say you were 25 TEN years ago?! whaaaaa? You look every bit of 25! Any who, I love your hair… nice curl pattern with or without product. Such a great post and great photos!

    xo,
    Sharontina/ TyrasLilSis

    • Gorgeous In Grey
      January 4, 2012 / 1:18 am

      AHAHAHA! That’s my next post. Misconceptions about my age, LOL! 35 and loving it.

  4. January 4, 2012 / 12:49 am

    Lol, loved this post! I’m no longer surprised the ignorance that come from people’s mouths as it pertains to hair. It’s rather ridiculous the questions I get asked about my locks on a regular basis, and the stare oh my!

    • Gorgeous In Grey
      January 4, 2012 / 1:20 am

      I’m just rude now. I cut people off and answer their questions before they even start. Ya know right after, “Can I ask you a question?”… my reply is always “No I didn’t dye my hair and I am only 35″… LOL. I said I would be nice this year? Maybe I will start passing out business cards and say go read my blog for answers, hahaha!

  5. Doc
    January 4, 2012 / 12:52 am

    Interestingly when I met you your hair wasn’t that big a deal to me. It was grey, thick and healthy. The end. As your co diva I have had to answer some dumb ass questions about your hair. Most often asked is omg! Why doesnt she just dye it? Maybe she don’t want the headache cuz it’s her natural color! You also left out how annoying it is for strangers to walk up on you and ask “how old are you?” Rudeness!

    I had my own share of dumb sh*t since I locked my hair. There is currently a heated debate about whether dyin my locs makes it unnatural somehow. The most annoying thing about natural hair is the personality characteristics people project on to you. They assume you are militant, aggressive, and no longer wax your eyebrows or bikini area. Dudes suddenly call you queen/empress. Yes I def have an Afrocentric swag but I still groom and I was a queen even when my hair relaxed, loose and natural, or in my weave!

    • Gorgeous In Grey
      January 4, 2012 / 1:21 am

      RIGHT! A part of me feels like I gotta go out and buy big hoop earrings and ish, so not true.

  6. January 4, 2012 / 12:59 am

    I love this! Thank you. *clapping ferociously & screaming* BRAVO! BRAVO!

    This speaks for so many aspects of human nature, socialization, beauty standards & our sensitivity (or lack thereof).

    GREAT POST! Sharing everywhere. 🙂

    • Gorgeous In Grey
      January 4, 2012 / 1:21 am

      Thanks Jen.. it was on my mind so I wrote. XOXO

  7. January 4, 2012 / 1:27 am

    I dont have a regimen, I hate doing my so-called good hair and am eagerly awaiting 10 good inches so I can give it all away to a girl who will love and appreciate the gesture (locks of love). the best days of my curly life were when I had a brush cut aka a fade. your hair and smile are equally great!

    • Gorgeous In Grey
      January 4, 2012 / 1:28 am

      I do miss my short hair BUT I’m really working on getting those gorge Tracee Ellis Ross curls..

  8. January 4, 2012 / 1:54 am

    Struggling? Heck yeh! I’m a messily 9 weeks out from my prior 8 week relaxer cycle. I don’t see a big chop in my near or distant future. The plan is to transition my way up outta here. Sigh. Such a long road a head.

  9. tay123lor
    January 4, 2012 / 7:02 am

    wholesalewigsonline.com highly recommend.. I personally purchased a lot of real human hair hand tied wefts and wigs from wholesalewigsonline.com i got my hair so fast and it is absolutely the softest, most beautiful hair i have ever seen it is always smooth and delightful, the quality of the hair is wonderful, this hair is awesome! the hair was simple to maintain and i love the natural look of it i got tons of compliments! excellent quality and durability ,it is easy to work with and maintain on

  10. January 4, 2012 / 12:03 pm

    I absolutely love your hair. When I saw you in NY at the Makeup Show my first thought was, “Who is this gorgeous girl with the silver hair?”. My hair first began to grey when I was 11 years old. I was teased by young people and admired by mature adults. It was something that I grew to love. I have never “struggled” with my hair. To me, it’s always been just hair and I understood that it grows back. There are times when I desire to have my hair back but the feeling passes. One myth that I despise is that “if you’re natural, your hair is healthy”. Natural girls struggle with damaged hair too. I’ve seen people who transitioned just because their relaxed hair was damaged but they had no clue on how to care for their hair altogether. I hope that our natural sisters begin to love themselves and their hair, no matter what state it’s in!

  11. January 4, 2012 / 2:21 pm

    I can’t tell u on how many levels I identified with your story. Going au naturel last year was the best move in years but oh boy, what was I in for a surprise. Who knew natural hair could be so high maintenance??? It’s been over a year now and I finally (knocks on wood twice) think I understand my curls. Between the BC and my current length I think I must have tried every hair product discussed on you tube or natural hair forum. Right now I only use shea butter (my curls love it), I stay away from any gel product such as eco style gel (even though I love it). Just like you when my hair dries, it’s a big frizz ball but after using sulfate free shampoo in combo with shea butter, it’s less dry. If the frizz is too much, I just co-wash with the shea butter. As you can tell (from this long comment, mes excuses), my wonder product is the shea butter (knock on wood again, u never know!!). Good luck and keep us informed.

  12. January 4, 2012 / 3:01 pm

    Great Post and you have some beautiful hair!! Don’t people ask the craziest questions?

  13. kvowels
    January 5, 2012 / 1:09 am

    You are BEAUTIFUL! I love all the hairstyle pics. You are doing w/the tapered curly natural, girl. I am a natural…some days yes, struggling. Growing my hair out, trying to keep it moisturised and just learning it all over again (natural 3 years). I LOVE it though. I love being able to scratch when I want, colour if I want, and I just love having more $$ (I was one of those relaxed women who spent every 3 weeks in the salon :). So, now it’s liberating and I am truly happier. YouTube helped TONS!
    I am not a Nazi, nor do I encourage other women to go #TeamNatural unless they ask me questions, other than that, I say, do you. I have no plans to return to a relaxer but I do see some BAD short hairstyles that have me salivating…..
    As for the silly things I have heard, “you can be natural cuz you got that GOOD hair!”

  14. January 16, 2012 / 6:32 pm

    I have to commend your mother for teaching you a hair regimen.. I started going grey in my early 20’s (I’m 33) and found that because grey hair doesn’t take perm as nicely, I’d have to touch up my fine hair every 6 weeks..
    Upon realizing I wanted to work out more (without having to worry about my perm) and the money that I was spending (the last appointment was 5 hours, I haven’t been back since) I decided to go natural. I was always worried because I’m a tomboy and I really felt like my hair was the only way to “girlie myself up.” So I felt I had to hang on to it..
    I have something now that only gets better when I’m sweaty from a workout. Don’t have to worry about rain or humidity (I live in Florida) and all I do in the morning is wet it, reactivate the product, fluff it and say “let’s go.”
    I haven’t heard any silly questions. But everyone who has known me knows that this is the style I was meant for.. It captures me. And I’ve never felt more like myself in my life.. I’m soo happy..
    I still have a little perm on top because I didn’t have enough length for the style I wanted.. EVERYTIME I wash my hair and see the two different textures, I wanna cut it all the way off.. *UGH*
    I currently mix my own leave in conditioner.. and I can customize the smell with my oils.. That works miracles for me. I got some Oyin products while in Baltimore so we’ll see how that works.. But what works best for me is the Tousle Me Softly mousse that Herbal Essences has. (purple can) I bought it when I had permed hair and didn’t want to throw it away.. this product shows my curls perfectly, but considering your hair is thicker, you might need a cream.. I’m still figuring out the hair regimen for my curls but I look forward to it..

    • Gorgeous In Grey
      January 16, 2012 / 6:36 pm

      I’m not rocking a straw set, check my twitter page.

  15. January 16, 2012 / 10:20 pm

    You’re absolutely right….hair does define us. Seems that as long as your hair and shoes are in order, what’s in between really doesn’t matter. I love that you’ve embraced who you are …..naturally. And thanks for sharing your personal views on healthy hair habits. I’ve learned that the hard way – after several really bad relaxers. Unfortunately, bad treatments are usually not reversible.
    I hate to toot my own horn, but I must tell you what saved my hair… I created a nature-inspired satin pillow case (www.neeroana.com) that promotes healthy hydration and relieves me from tying up my hair every night. As a woman of color, I needed to get into the 21st century with hair care. My hair is no longer broken or dry or weak. If it saved my coils, it’ll save yours. Thanks for taking us through your hair care journey. Lovely reading.

  16. January 20, 2012 / 3:11 pm

    You have a great head of hair! Very informative post…I’m still gasping! I had no idea you were 35! Black dont crack! Looking good!

  17. February 1, 2012 / 4:06 pm

    I’d heard about your blog in passing but never stopped by. I had no idea the “gorgeous in grey” was in reference to your hair. I absolutely love it!!!

    You and your hair are fab :o)

    I’ll be reading more often now that I’ve had a chance to check out your blog!

  18. February 3, 2012 / 10:57 am

    I LOVE your grey hair. My fav style is the one in the pics that are under point #1. So cute!

  19. March 14, 2012 / 6:29 pm

    I love your gray hair! I met you just a couple of times and I always loved it, in fact envied it. Ive always liked the idea of white/silver hair on especially darker skin like mine, Its so becoming and interesting.

    Im natural and have been for about 6 years. I have locs, The regimen I use are natural products, mostly because chemicals never agreed with my hair and my mother and grandmother both have lost some of there hair as they aged so I keep to natural oils and such hopefully to head off the hair loss.

    I have really thick full hair and I think alot of people like it. I do get asked/complimented about it alot and people like to touch/play with it. The silliest comments were saying you know like its too course, wild, or why would I ever want to be natural? and deal with all the naps. Truth is I love my naps! And I love “big” hair so having thick, slightly wildish hair suites me and my personality. I never want things tame 😉

    A little of my routine: I wash my hair with Dudu Osun Black Soap. It smells lovely and a bit woodsy. Then I moisturize my hair with organic coconut oil, jojoba oil, shea butter, mango oil and castor oil. Ive made a mix of it and it smells wonderful and I have to say since Ive started using this (about 2 yrs ago) my hair has grown like crazy, so healthy and full.

    Anyways, Thanks for sharing this! Ive always been interesting in your gorgeous grey!

  20. Faith
    May 10, 2012 / 10:59 am

    hi im a white skinny chick with african like hair from my ancestors (we all go back to Eve aye?), growing up with siblings and mum with perfect blonde straight hair, and me with darkest brown moppy hair was interesting to say the least (still think i was adopted,,,,,)

    living in Japan with the humidity, well, yes, hair maybe long(ish) but it sure is a crazy madness, like jimi hendrix on a really windy day !
    and i stopped coloring my greys and i stopped straightening it
    oils kinda work, but most of the time it gets tied back in a scrunchie, and still manages to escape,,,,,

    i love your blog, was just typing in grey at 35 and wahla found you, you are very stylish and gorgeous and strong
    thank you xxx

  21. October 14, 2012 / 12:03 am

    I love your grey hair!! I’m 46 and just have some gray around the temples and since it hasn’t come in as nicely as yours, I color it regularly.

    I did the BC a year ago June- completely out of the blue. I’d just lost my job and figured I would hate it (I have a very round face) but could grow it back by the time I found a new gig. Before I left the salon I was swooning and haven’t looked back. I am a bit of a tree hugger though, I use cruelty free products Organix Coconut shampoo & conditioner; a nightly application of about tsp of pure coconut oil and after my morning shower I use Marc Anthony’s Curl Envy cream to define the curl and control frizz. I also use a natural coloring product called Naturtint about every 6 weeks, it’s extremely gentle.

    Can’t wait to follow your future posts. All the best – Drea

  22. Shakita Sanders
    November 2, 2012 / 9:51 pm

    I finally found your blog again, YES!!! I have natural hair and I have had grey-hair since I can remember. This wasn’t high school, this was kindergarten I remember having grey hair. I have a huge grey patch in the middle of my head and it doesn’t seem to curl when I wash it. I see that you don’t have this problem so I was wondering did you have any suggestions for me.
    Sincerely, Gorgeous in Grey Too 🙂

  23. April 15, 2013 / 2:45 pm

    I stumbled upon your IG page and I love your hair. I sought out your blog to get the story on the grey, and here it is. I too am prematurely grey (got my 1st at 16) but I am a slave to dye. I wish I could stop and have it look as chic as yours. I have serious hair envy!

  24. April 16, 2013 / 9:55 am

    …see all this time I thought you colored your hair like that. haha, but to be legit. I love it grey like that! It’s pretty, and clearly unique because there aren’t a ton of folks your age with that much Grey. I love that you have so many hair styles too. I miss being short but I’m on hair growth challenge now. I want shoulder length natural hair, it’s getting there. My hair routine still have some work to be done. I was co-washing before but my scalp was developing nasty build up. Now I have to use scalp shampoo once a week and it’s clearing up that issue. I’ve been using Qhemet Biologics products too which my hair seems to love.

  25. Shayna
    April 27, 2013 / 4:42 pm

    i saw you in Stacy London’s book and I was drawn to your hair. It’s absolutely beautiful

  26. A.W
    June 14, 2013 / 10:50 am

    I enjoyed reading your blog!! I look forward to reading more. Now following u on IG. And I’m glad I read about u and ur misconceptions about ur hair before I asked u did u dye it.

  27. Tosha
    July 7, 2013 / 9:18 pm

    So glad I found your blog! I too am in my mid thirties and have premature gray. I began to gray in my teens and have a “skunk” stripe in the front of my hair. As a nurse I have patients constantly asking me do I dye my hair or how old I am. I will continue to follow you!

  28. Jessica
    August 16, 2013 / 1:00 pm

    Fantastic! Dealing with your natural hair is an ever evolving routine (at least for me it is). For now, I like to be as easy as possible. I co-wash with edens or as-i-am and follow with Ouidads whipped curls primer. finger comb and done! I’ll add some oil from carol’s daughter here and there, but my strands are fine, and I like bigger hair. Best to you!

  29. October 25, 2013 / 9:17 am

    I always put stuff in my hair and almost every day I use my hair straightener to straighten it and I’ve always considered my hair to be natural. You’re last statement makes me doubt!!!

  30. November 11, 2013 / 11:03 pm

    Honey I rock it all. LOVE this post. That grey hair is lovely. It’s what makes you unique… Not too many peeps could get away with it. You give some of these old ladies a run for their money! Werk!! 🙂

  31. Alberta
    January 26, 2014 / 8:11 pm

    I was excited to read your blog being a 42year old with graying tresses myself. The craziest question I’ve ever been asked about my hair is, did you dye it gray?. I had to laugh. I tried dying it another color, nothing I tried worked, so I gave up the fight. Honestly, I’ve gotten more compliments with my hair being gray than I ever did when I was attempting to color it. I often say to myself that I can’t wait til it’s all gray. I think that’ll be pretty cool.

  32. Trudy
    February 2, 2014 / 10:53 pm

    I love your hair and all the different ways you wear it. I am a naturally curly haired non- black 48 year old woman. I’ve been fighting with my curls all my life. For about 10 years I have been using a brand called ouidad(www.ouidad.com)made specifically for curly hair. I am always trying to figure out what to do with my hair but this products does keep the frizz under control and tame. Maybe one day I will love my hair curly and gray, but for now I do color it and am still trying to find a style that is easy to take care of.

  33. Patti
    February 11, 2014 / 10:12 am

    Ty
    All I can say is your hair is gorgeous, and so are you. Such a beautiful woman, you seem like my friend in my head. I really enjoy your blog and I love your sense of style! If I saw you in person I would probably stare at your hair, butr I would also compliment you and say, “You are so pretty, and your hair is amazing!”

  34. May 16, 2014 / 4:50 pm

    I just discovered your blog and I am so glad that I did! I, too, started going grey in my 20s and I stopped dying about a year ago. As a multi-ethnic woman and mom, who cares about her appearance, I am so glad for any advice I can get!
    Karianna recently posted..Book Review: Something Other Than GodMy Profile

  35. October 14, 2014 / 4:28 am

    HI! Gorgeous In Grey.. don’t mind the colour of your hair.. you look beautiful anyway. Just express yourself for who you truly are. Leave those people who throw negative feedback on you… Keep posting . I like your blog!

  36. Beverly
    October 26, 2014 / 3:57 pm

    Love your blog and your hair! I started going grey in my early 20’s. Colored it until my early 30’s and gave in. The grey was faster than I was!! lol. I am now 54 and some people still ask if I dyed my hair this color (mostly grey in the front with some of it pure white). Silly is as silly does. My question is how do you control any brassiness? I have been natural for almost 2 yrs now and find that the ends in the front get brassy. I press and curl on moderate heat. I have tried the shampoos that are supposed to control the brassy issue but they don’t seem to help. Any ideas?

  37. Save the grey
    November 10, 2014 / 5:12 pm

    I am thrilled I found your blog! I was two days from coloring my grey then I found your blog! Loving my grey again!

  38. ANISSA
    March 27, 2015 / 2:25 pm

    Honey, honey, honey. I am just overwhelmed with excitement. I am 47 years and very very young at heart with a head full of grey natural hair. I decided last year that I would not dye anymore and embrace my real natural hair, color and all. Been feeling skeptical because of this awkward grow out period, BUT after arriving on this site I am full of confidence and ready to rock this crown of silver glory. Thank you so much for creating this space for other sisters like us! God Bless and look forward to seeing what you have coming in the future.

  39. May 22, 2015 / 4:53 pm

    I started going grey around six years ago. I’m now 29. I only came to terms with not dying to cover the greys about 2 or 3 years ago, I still want to dye it crazy colours though while I can. My Grandma had jet black hair until she had a stroke about 8 years ago then she started going grey (She’s mid-70s now). Whereas my Mum started going grey in her late 30s. My Mum’s aunt went completely grey by the time she was 30 so somewhere in my gene pool it was likely that I’d go grey fairly early. I was recommended your blog by Monica at Monicadoes.

  40. July 15, 2015 / 9:24 am

    I am glad you answered my question before I asked it. Wheww! I really thought it was a gimmick, like you dyed your hair and just kept it that way. I was like it looks very natural but I really could not tell. Thank you for answering.

  41. L.M. Carter
    August 13, 2015 / 3:35 pm

    I am so thrilled to find that young folks like yourself have accepted your gray hair and now for some it is the style – while they are young. I have been graying since I was 9 years old. I was 9 in 1963.My mom had a gray streak and my dad was salt and pepper. Out of nine of siblings, only 6 have gray hair. I am the elder, but the oldest of my brothers has white hair. Never had a problem with gray. I never thought to dye it. I really think that the higher power provided me with gray hair so that folks would take me seriously, because I have a young face. Thought it made me look distinguished. I was carded at dance clubs until I was almost 40 – as long as I had a cap on. I always compliment any women who sports gray hair. Always felt that it is a sister-hood. Now that my age has caught up with the color of my hair, I am thrilled to be able walk a 10 minute mile or 16 miles (by accident for my 60th birthday last year) without a hat or scarf hiding my hair – not that I have every done so; or competing in a race walk. I think it is my way of encouraging other women with gray hair to be fit-no matter age, size, disability, etc..
    Peace and Best
    P. Carter

    • August 17, 2015 / 9:46 am

      I wish I still got carded LOL. Thanks for the kind words.

  42. Tia
    January 17, 2016 / 3:35 pm

    I love your blog! I can totally relate to your story, too. I started getting grey hair in my early 20’s. I hated it, and refused to let it come in, so I colored my hair for years. Well, over time, the grey refused to accept the dye and my hair would come out in all these funky shades! UGLY! Plus, the color was damaging my hair. So, one day, my daughter said “Mama, leave it alone!” I took her advice and now I LOVE my grey hair! I’m 70 to 80% grey and I’m 50! Many woman compliment the grey, tell me that I’m brave, and some ask if I dyed my hair like this! Absolutely not! The premature grey is hereditary! I embrace it and LOVE my natural hair! Thanks for convincing other women to allow their grey beauty to shine through!

  43. February 6, 2016 / 1:05 pm

    Hi Ty
    Interesting Blog. I’m dark skinned and have long hair (middle of my back). It’s thick and it is has weight, as described to me once by a hairdresser. I’m happy that you have not seen your hair as a burden but for me, it has not always provided me with good times. At my mother’s insistence (meaning that you could not contradict her or answer her back) as a young girl, I would regularly go to the salon for that press n curl. She loved to parade me to her friends etc as she was so proud of this head of hair that I had. She told me that my beauty wasn’t my face but my hair! But what she didn’t realize that having long hair did not endear me to the girls at school as I was ostracized, picked on and bullied. It was a horrible experience. Many years later, I ‘hid’ my hair with braids and corn rows, or rather kept it under a low profile. I am now married and living in Africa, I’ve recently decided to ‘release’ my hair and wear it short and relaxed. I no longer have black hair but grey. I just wondered if you or your readers had negative hair experiences. Thanks for listening.

  44. Charlene
    September 21, 2016 / 3:39 pm

    I know this is an old post, but I just stumbled on your website in this months issue of Real Simple. I too have natural curly hair and I too have had grey hair (white) since my 20’s. I am white, well not really white but I am English/Italian and so I got my hair from the Italian side. One product that I have been using that I love is Miss Jessie’s Pillow Soft Curls (love the smell) AND Pantene Gel for Curls. I use them both at the same time and I love the look. Thought I would share. Thank you for such a wonderful blog, I can relate to you in more ways then I expected!

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